January 2010


I have this cute little pig-shaped ceramic refrigerator magnet holding my current weekly “shift-schedule” to the freezer door. The past couple times I opened the door, the magnet fell and the poor little pig lost a leg… which reminded me of a joke I heard once…

It goes like this …

One day a man drove by a farm and saw a three-legged pig. The man went up to the farmer and said, “Excuse me sir, but why does that pig only have 3 legs?”

“Well sir,” said the farmer, “that thar pig is very special. One time my wife was cookin’ somethin’ on the stove. She stepped out of the kitchen and burnt the house clear down to the ground. That pig saved me, my wife, and my 2 kids!”

“That’s amazing sir but why does that pig only have three legs? Did he lose one in the fire?” said the man.

“Then there was that time the pig saw a big storm a-comin’ and we didn’t. That pig ran into the house and dragged all of us out to the storm cellar to safety. If it weren’t for that pig we’d all be dead.”

“But still, that doesn’t explain why the pig has only…”

“And I remember the time my youngest son was stuck up in a tree but I was too far away to hear him screamin’. That pig came running towards me and led me di-rectly to my son.”

“Well, that is a miracle but how come that pig only has 3 legs?” the man said quite annoyed at this point.

“Well,” said the farmer, “with a pig that special…

…you can’t eat him all at once.”

###

It’s a good thing I’m such a wealth of talent.

End of story.

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“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s never been your fault.”

So goes the text of a rather humorous exchange posted on YouTube that sends my daughter and me into fits of silly laughter every now and then. The visual that goes along with it is of 2 cats trying their best to put paranoia into the mind of their friend — just for yucks.

###

The other day while my daughter and I were out picking up a few things in the grocery store, she turned to me and said,”it’s not your fault, mom.” And then clarified. “it’s not your fault that you work in a grocery store now.”

“I know, it’s never been my fault,” I answered, trying for a chuckle … but it hit too close to home.

Following a decade of disaster, I am trying to remain positive. Seriously. But sometimes I feel like the gods are just not cooperating.

January 1, 2010 I received a phone call from my boss: “We don’t have the budget to put you on the schedule for next week. Sorry.”

True story.