September 2009

It’s amazing that I am still (well, barely) employed.

I’m mere days away from my 1 year anniversary and if this blog started out with me at the bottom… I can honestly say, I am now even lower in rank.

Yessireee. Lower. As in now “part-time”. Benefit-less.

You see, that’s what you get when you try to get ahead. (See “Don’t cut the line”)

I was thinking today, whatever gave me such drive to try to move ahead so quickly? Well, the economy, for one. I have basic needs that have to me met and these all require the “almighty dollar.” I am an adult and I have a family, mortgage, and bills. And yes, due to some last-minute optimism, I dug myself into credit card debt.

One of my first mentors at work suggested that I get ahead by learning more about the company. “Take our Company University Classes,” he said. So I did. 15 of them. That idea apparently backfired though. Many of the classes I watched were by players in the company who preached how “open” things were. “We want your opinion. We need your input. Your ideas are valuable.” Right.

As I drank the cool-aid, I felt empowered to say more; to do more; to bring ideas to the table. Little did I realize that, let’s face it, NO ONE TAKES THOSE DARN CLASSES! Well, certainly not the kids running the place, anyway. Not only was I now empowered; I now had KNOWLEDGE. I was learning things about the company – faster – without doing time. Depending on which side of the desk you are on when it comes time for the job dialogue believe me, it is not always a good thing.

My most recent review was a mess! Horribly juvenile. It was so off-base that I had my jaw in my lap astonished at what I was hearing. Little did I know I was being set up… to lose. My job dialogue; my “permanent record” is now haunting my ability to even transfer laterally because it is so professionally damaging.

What the heck did I do that was so bad you might ask? Well, being an adult –with experience –who was told they would have no problem moving right on up –I let out the gas, too fast. And then stepped on the brakes.

Here’s what happened. I’m in a department where creativity is somewhat necessary. (It doesn’t take much to repeat actions to produce a product, but I was actually coming up with new products. Regularly. I was praised and encouraged to do more (of course). But after my first review, when I was told that I would not be moving anywhere– let alone up– I will admit, I pulled my creative production WAY back. You see, if you are constantly being asked to create, but you do not get paid for it, to me –that’s exploitation.

So, to make a very long story short, I was told you have to be careful what you do: “this place is like high school”. It is only now that I see what she meant. Try as I might to move ahead, or even sideways, my PERMANENT RECORD is now following me around. Issues that should not have been put there without a warning, or at the very least prior discussion, are now haunting me.

It is horrible –just like high school.


So, this is how it works…

  1. You interview for the bottom-dweller job. (See post 1)
  2. You come on board with a college degree and a resume full of experience and are told that “you should have no problem moving right on up.”
  3. It’s one year later and you haven’t moved anywhere.

Hmmm, something’s not right.

You plan “the move” carefully:

  • You take 15 of those ridiculous “corporate university” classes.
  • You write scripts and teach seminars for the staff.
  • You start “acting” like a manager.

You apply for an open position and …!POW! you’re shot down.

Another open position….. !!POW!! !!POW!! you don’t even make it to the interview (and all you are trying to do is “transfer within the company”)

Another open position….!!!Pow!!! !!!POW!!! !!!POW!!! This time you are told that you are WAY out of your league. How could you possibly become an ASSISTANT LEADER of ANYTHING at this point?! I mean, you just got here!

Oh, yea. Right. I forgot. That resume? and that college education? and all those additional certificates and diplomas in various other fields of interest? That doesn’t count for anything because: It didn’t happen while you were on staff.

So basically, there is no way in hell you can figure out how to be an assistant ANYTHING because you haven’t done time in a grocery store.

Why can’t you read the writing on the wall? The sign says ” DO NOT CUT IN LINE”